Anna – Losing her scarf

“I made scarves after my dad died for my mom, my brother, and me”

This is Anna, describing her scarf, which she made after her dad died, and how she lost it

I made scarves, I guess it was two years after my father died, for my mom, my brother and me. It is a very simple scarf pattern, it is just knit, purl for two rows and then a little bit of ribbing on each end, purl and then cable knitting and then it is just straight knitting. When I made these scarves, I made a red for my mom, a black one for me, and a green one for my brother.

And I lost it one night at Netherworld, it just, I picked up all my stuff and it wasn’t there. I don’t know where it went. My leather jacket was there, my hood was there, my gloves and my hat were there, my bag with my wallet in it was there, and my scarf was gone. I know I turned white and it was like a heart hurting, “Oh god, I’ve lost the family scarf… crap.” I was absolutely mortified and then my mom lost hers, I know she felt, she totally freaked out and I’m almost certain Paul lost his awhile ago.

It is indicative of an unraveling of everything, like family-wise since dad died. We are no longer really a unit, and that kind of sucks. Losing that scarf was just indicative of the loss of our family unit. I just don’t quite know how to deal with that.

Because when my father was alive, we were very much a unit. As a family we ate breakfast together, we ate dinner together, during the summers my dad left work early on Friday’s and we would go to the movies as a family. And eat popcorn for dinner as a family, which my mother abhorred, but we did it anyway. We’d go do all this stuff as a family, even after I had gone off to college, when I’d come home, we’d do that. We were family-family, out there it was 1995, but in here it was 1955.

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Losing Something by Jody Stephens is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

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